So here I am lying in my bed at home watching t.v. and i look over at my photograph of the apples sitting on my shelf next to my bed and at the lilies over my window and the dancing photos over my mirror and i realise something...(i didn't enjoy photo at purdue as much as in highschool and I thought that was just because of the stress of college) but i realised this ...photography lost its magic for me... don't know how else to explain it...if you read this and you don't get it i don't expect u to. I just realised how sad it is and how sad I am now. I don't know if it was because of the class the teacher the images or what...(im really sad) most people i don't think realised how much photography means to me...In highschool I remember in highschool the first time i would make a print I would be so excited watching it change colors in front of my eys like watching some one being born. And i never minded reprinting it over and over because i loved the image and would do anything to make it look its best...because I was doing it for myself..(not for a t.A. that i didn't like) ....because I like the outcome of it I like the blacks the whites and the detail of the print...I wasn't doing it to please someone else while seceretly not liking it ususally and just vacantly nodding. I never really wanted to reprint it just wanted to get it done with and get out of the darkroom, leave class early in highschool it wasn't cut throat it wasn't a competition...trying to show up ever one im so confused...the lifeless cold unforgiving, sanitary darkroom of purdue. I never felt this way in highschool i would stay in there all day if I could...i don't know what to do...maybe i can help it to come back